*POP*

I haven’t seen a formal poll, but think I may be the last blogging virgin in America. Guess it’s as good a time as any to do something about it.

I never really "got" blogging... for the longest time it seemed like just about the most egotistical/silly/inane/self absorbed form of mental masturbation a person could engage in. Time served in AOL chatrooms had already convinced me that the vast majority of people online had nothing of interest to say, and that my online hours would be far better spent, and my horizons more widely broadened, in sticking with porn.

Yet here we are. Another friggin’ blog. What the hell, your PC is your pulpit and cyberspace is infinite, right?

Things You Won’t Read About Here

I don’t know dick about knitting, quilting or any sewing more complicated than replacing a button, and can’t imagine anything more mind-numbing than playing with dried flowers… except maybe scrapbooking. If you’re interested in reading daily updates on the delightful antics of my cute, fluffy kitties or playful pups, go away. If you’re homeschooling your kids you’re probably making a big mistake. I hated The Matrix, and gave up on video games after Frogger. Teen angst? Right. Spend a few years at a shitty job, get married, rack up some serious debt and then you can (try to) impress me with your jaded worldview. And the only sex you’re likely to find here will be references to the daily fucking the American people – and our neighbors around the world – are receiving from the Bush Administration and their partners in crime.

Fine, so what’s it all about, Alfie?

Good question. It’s about love, betrayal, retribution, faith, anger, honor, thievery, trust and hope. It’s about family, work, death and history. It’s also about dealing with the daily outrages perpetrated by a corrupt, incompetent Administration, a corporate lapdog Media and lazy, willfully ignorant Americans. Occasionally, we’ll talk about the Good Guys, whenever and wherever I find ‘em.

During the ‘80s we bought into the Reagan complacency- Don’t worry, be happy. Ignore the crumbling infrastructure, skyrocketing homelessness and the birth of a new, deadly pandemic- it’s Morning in America! Forget about the Fairness Doctrine- we’ll give you Star Wars! Let North, Weinberger, Abrams, McFarlane & Co. walk- after all, they were motivated by patriotism, right?

We continued to sleep through the Clinton years. Maybe after twelve years of being led by international war criminals we were just ready for a break. We were lulled into a false sense of security by the peace and relative prosperity of the ‘90s. Some were alarmed by the rise of the so-called Religious Right, and tried to warn us but, like modern-day Cassandras, they were either ignored or dismissed as tinfoil hatters. Remembers the scorn heaped on Hillary for her “vast, rightwing conspiracy” comment? Sure, she was wrong – after all, conspiracies are supposed to be secret. Limbaugh, Scaife, Olson, Starr, The American Spectator, Regnery Publishing, the “elves” and Newt’s Congressional Wingnut Brigade did their dirty deeds right out in the open. They followed (and often planted) every rumor and even dug through Georgetown trashcans in the dead of night to find something – anything – to nail the Clintons on: Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Fostergate… but there was no there, there- the Clintons were clean. Finally, after some particularly sleazy moves, they managed to impeach a successful, popular President over a half-assed extramarital affair.

But that, children, was just the beginning. Along came the 2000 “election”. People started waking up to the realization that they were being had, and some were pissed. Yet CNN, MSNBC, Faux and the rest of our trusted watchdogs seemed to be not only oblivious to what was going on, but to even be actively participating in the coup- something definitely wasn’t right.

First stop, TEH INTARWEB! Suddenly, sites like MoveOn.org and Bartcop were no longer the lone voices in the wilderness. Online forums and left-leaning websites began sprouting up, populated by some of the sharpest, most articulate motherfuckers I'd ever seen. Smart, funny, bitingly sarcastic and so incredibly knowledgeable! These intelligent, well-read folks began linking to other like-minded discussion boards, columnists and bloggers. And a community was born. Buzzflash, Smirking Chimp, Democratic Underground, RackJite, MWO, Rush vs Reality.

And it grew. At Wit’s End, Daily Kos, Moose and Squirrel, Truthout, The Rude Pundit, MediaMatters, Air America Radio.

And grew.

But as we found out Wednesday morning, we still have some growing to do.