More on Private Cody

Quick follow-up. Yup, it was a hoax.

The Comeback Kid Rides Again?

No report today on last night's State of the Union, as I had pressing responsibilities which took priority. I'm proud to say that my sock drawer is the neatest it's been in years AND my magazine subscriptions are now all up to date. Watching Gee Dumbass attempt to form coherent sentences is just too painful so for the past 4 years, with the exception of the debates, I've opted for the transcripts and blooper reels. And Hell, with a four day road trip planned, there's no doubt that his upcoming bloopers will be quality ones.

But there are always other things to talk about.

With the SOTU, Incomptenzza's and Gonzales' confirmations, Mother Nature kicking ass from sea to shining sea and of course, John Paul's health, some stories didn't get as much mainstream play this week as I had hoped. Hands down, my favorite is one which came and went pretty quietly in the world of normal people, but I guarantee this story will have legs.

Oh, things just keep getting better.

Forget about peanut butter and chocolate- Rightwingnut politicos and talking heads have recently discovered a delightful combination which proves, without a doubt, the old chestnut about the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The 2005 season of Repubbabubba Fear Factor combines the two most dreaded names in the Limbaugh Lexicon: the United Nations and Bill Clinton... and this week saw the fires of Rightwing Paranoia stoked to heights not seen since Hillary's Senate race.

In case you missed it, UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan has selected President Clinton to be the U.N. Envoy for tsunami relief and reconstruction. And predictably, the Wacko Right is shittin' kittens at the thought of this being Clinton's first step towards Secretary General and, presumably, world domination. Compulsory abortions, the resurgence of Leninism, the wholesale slaughter of Christians everywhere, and mandatory faggotry for all!

As the denizens of rightwing hate sites like Freak Republic, Townhall and reputed LBJ mistress Lucienne Goldberg's "discussion" webpage foam at the mouth and flop about in an ecstasy of outrage, the more jaded among them hear the ka-ching of certain profit. (A little off topic but psst, Jonah, I've been doing some math-- who IS yo Daddy?)

F'rinstance, everybody's favorite Bigoted Nazi Asshole, former NC Senator Jesse Helms just sent out a fundraising letter for his library (yeah, a library - ain't irony grand?) which raised the spectre of the Big Dog holding the keys to the Black Helicopters. (Personal to Jesse - it's way past time, why not just go gently into that good night, already?) No doubt we'll hear something similar from The Revs, as Falwell, Robertson, Dobson & Co undoubtedly feel a little tingle in their Sinful Parts at the thought of the escalation in fleecing they'll be giving their flock. Forget Tinky Winky and Spongebob, for these hucksters, the threat of Bill Clinton's reascension is guaranteed GOLD!

Wanna have some real fun? A hardcase Conservative brought up something even more frightening... to her. Try this one out on your wingnut friends. SecGen WJ Clinton and President HR Clinton. Then stand back and enjoy the fireworks.

Let's step back for a little perspective. The idea of Secretary General Clinton has been batted around basically since Scaife, Inc. failed to drive him from office in disgrace. Dunno which clever, Clenis-chasing bastard started it (though my vote is for *allegedly* deranged hermaphrodite Ann Coulter, who still hasn't gotten over her(?) infatuation with him), but it's gaining momentum. Enough, in fact, that these idiots may have created a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now, you may have heard that the UN won't give the job to anyone whose country has a permanent seat on the Security Council, but that ain't necessarily so. Supposedly, next time around is slated to be Asia's turn, but if there's one political leader beloved around the world, it's William Jefferson Clinton. And a convincing argument could be made that it would be in the best interest of the US and the World Community to work towards reestablishing America's credibility and standing. Not least of all, he'd also probably do a hell of a job getting a few things done in a body that isn't known for fast action.

I've said it before - watching the wingnuts go batshit is one of my favorite pastimes, so I find the idea of Secretary General Clinton pleasing on many levels. Of course nothing in life is certain, and it's way too early to get caught up in the possibility, but I'm stocking up on popcorn... just in case.

Saving Private Cody?

Well, it looks like the Mainstream Corporate Media has covered itself in something other than glory, once again. Events today have left a few with more egg on their faces than Matt Drudge after a hot date.

Today's race for the scoop involved what appears to be a kid's toy.

This morning, most media outlets were breathlessly reporting that an unnamed website had published a claim by Iraqi "insurgents" that they had captured an American soldier and were holding him hostage, threatening to behead him in 72 hours unless the US releases Iraqis currently being "detained."

As the day progressed and common sense intruded into their little world, the MCM and various other self-styled journalists gradually began softening the language in their stories as it became known that the soldier in the photo bears a striking resemblance to "Cody", a GI Joe-type child's action figure.




Dan Rather was unavailable for comment, as he was kicking back with a Bourbon & Coke, laughing his ass off.